STOKEshow

Style on the fritz.

With all the helicopters and Olympic bullshit it's easy to see why many people think snowboarding is blown out and commercially exploitative. However, snowboarding embodies nature and style and both of these things are not much use once they become commodities.   The wild world of the true snowboard characters, the rockers, thugs, emos and rednecks have always resisted being defined branded and sold. It is a paradox that snowboarder are just too individualistic for the snowboard industry.

Because snowboarding is only occasionally a group activity and almost never a group ideaology, it is praised as a sport faithful to the notion that the leaders are bound by no system. And at the top of the snowboarding hierarchy are those have created their own style. As true masters of their own identity, those who embody snowboarding can do acid and drink cobra blood and revolt against authority while winning competitions and landing even the biggest sponsors. And this immaculate chaos will always be at the core of true snowboarding.

The rift in class structures that create the snowboarding attitudes are rarely recognized by the larger snowboarding media but there are some great discussions in the smaller outlets. 

Here's some of today's cutting edge sources for gnarly shed content.

Cheesedicks                       Gnarcore                             King Snow Mag 

I got invited to a party*- I almost started murdering people when I soon realized that it was a sales attempt on a pyramid scheme. It made me sick.

The guy was cool, and his girlfriend was hot, but as soon as they started to try and convince the room to buy a bunch of their random shit I almost vomited. Several times throughout the presentation I had to choke back hysterical laughter. I put my head in my hands and prayed that for as many people out there who were down with making money for nothing that there were an equal amount of people who understand how to invest in themselves.

Yeah, money rules all. And that's cool. Nut nut. Sluts are sweet too. But please...

It goes against everything I stand for to think that you could promote something you had no part in just for a pay check. And people wonder why they live and get rich and still feel unfulfilled. People everywhere are selling this shit and believing it and I can't understand how it holds together. Does no one believe in themselves anymore?

I feel bad for the world. I need a tickle me elmo. Or al least a blowjob. Ill settle for anything that stimulates my senses and isn't poison for humanity.

* There was a girl there who was hot and I'm respectful for that reason. Also, it was a very well produced video.

Hello it's Phillip Marlowe here and I'm pissed.

Life is a two way street and for me terrorists have hijacked armored vehicles and are killing people up and down both streets. They've got hostages who are getting wasted, they ordered all their mercenaries to be bloodsucking heathens and they canceled christmas. 

The reason I'm in a outright fowl, dangerous, whiny mood is because my so called girlfriend of 4 years is a giant ho. That's right, a ho. She told me yesterday that she has been cheating on me at least twice a week for as long as she can remember with an wide assortment of guys. Of course, I flipped out when she told me and then she went on to say that I was being insensitive and, as a side note, that I should go get tested because I might have the clap!

What a ho.

Despite all this BS I have decided to dedicate myself to nature to find solace in the peace of snowboarding. Snowboarding is honest and trustworthy and it never gives you the clap. It's there when you need it and it is designed for sharing and I think snowboarding can save the world. All we need is snow. I pray for snow. Lets go shred. - Phil

*Rider: Kyle McCachen

Thank you to everybody who watched and gave comments on yesterday's video. It has been a dream of our here to portray hooking-up with authenticity and we appreciate your help in making that possible. A few people have suggested making it a series so were trying to decide what should happen next. A couple girls said that since the female character in the movie is cheating in their shared apartment she should get caught. That makes sense right?

Anyway, in the New York Times today it said that cheating had gone up since Barak Obama took office. There is speculation that this is because people like boffing when they're broke and the recession has helped that... but the truth is that cheating rates have increased because Obama is just so damn sexy. His happy-go-lucky attitude breeds infidelity and everybody knows Obama has a huge johnson to boot. Obama probably tore girl up like a matador when he was young and now society is deeply turned on. (Is that slander or libel?) 

So, these days, what's likely to happen? Marriage is dying and condoms are tearing. Who's got a bible to sell? 

Halloween is as good a night as any to make fun of people. Mostly it's fun times, girls, ladies, babes, they all enjoy it. But sadly halloween is also the one night where all the insecure people come out and pretend to "let loose" when really they're just being idiots. Take the 17yr old high school SLUTS for example, who all look like trashy whore's. I love titties as much as the next guy, but, damn girls, get some self respect. It is especially easy to notice the insecure, loud and stupid chicks because they're always the ones completely wasted and puking by like, 1130 and they literally have no costume at all save for some half-assed resemblance to a bee or candy cane. They're wack, they lack creativity and they're out in force for the one night where they can barf, act obscene, expose themselves and still turn down men. In fact, for reasons I don't understand, many dudes flock to this type of wack chick.

AKA exhibit 1a. These girls are fuc**d.  I do give a few points for the Baywatch Bikini's but the retarded plastic Blue Magnum look is the sign of a tramp. The expression they so proudly wear clearly says "I'll suck your coc* for a hit of E."

Retards always flock to novelty but Halloween does have one stellar quality- Diamonds in the rough. I'm talking about the babes who look amazing in sweatpants and baggy-tee shirts who are usually fucking impossible to find. True 10's always have the best costumes where they downplay everything and dress unattractively. The guys get distracted by the tramps and ho's and the real beauties finally get to remove their oh so necessary bitch shields and have a night where dudes will actually talk to them without lecherous stares and cheezy pimp talk (it's a conundrum that the hottest babes are socially repressed). 

They call this the Heigelian Dialect, when two things with sit at opposites ends of an argument come together for a synthesis. It can be shitty, or it can be sweet. And despite all the puke, Oct 31 still entices hot female liberation (in one form or another) and it proves that Halloween rates a +7.5 on the sweet-shit meter.

*Exhibit B1. This is a true 10. 

"Don't mess with crack!" My mother always told me, but she never warned me about pretty women. And now, with Franceska's voluntary rise into stoke status, my mom is scared that I'm addicted to the unpredictable and deadly world that Franceska inhabits.  Considering that Franceska has a closet full of loaded guns to match her astonishing beauty, and a large international fan base, hanging out with Franceska has made me realize that if I value my life and career, I should encourage her to do whatever the hell she wants, whenever the hell she wants.

And so, at the Stoked on a Lake party in August, a situation came up where once again I learned something new about Franceska's feminine power: sometimes it wants to be topless. 

Franceska knocked us all out with a "hand-bra series" of photo's down by the water, and needless to say, we're guarding these photos like 1990's Jenna Jameson porn. But unlike Jenna, the hand-bra photo's will come soon.

(Franceska Lavaggi History: She started as a try-out host, then modeled, organized a couple projects, and now she's a skilled and equally feared consultant and critic of STOKE. It's a confusing history but such is life.) 

Levente! 

Ok, he's got a weird name: La-vent-tay. It kinda sounds like an expression that Greek high school students would use when they get wasted- " We are soo going to party. Lets get bombed and jump into a pile of fresh cut grass! Levente!" - Only few people in the world can say that about their name.

Really, his name doesn't matter. What matters is how he carries style and energy like hookers carry condoms. I've called Levente on a seconds notice to double date, I've seen him break up fights, and most importantly, if he had money, i'd likely ask him for it and he'd likely be smart enough to say no. What a guy.

Anyway, metaphors aside, Levente is STOKEshow's MAN OF THE WEEK because he recently came through, yet again, and scouted a new starlett model who will soon be joining the STOKE effort (he is photographed here with his prizes, one squeeze bottle of mustard and 30 seconds of touching with Erika).

Thanks for everything and congratulations! 

This is bad. There are dozens of people watching a young punk scream. Including us. Then he starts throwing punches.

Right before this fight happened it had been a traquil and beautiful day. We had been chillin the whole morning. I was taking camera phone updates and sending them to my Facebook. In an odd way, I could have almost predicted it.

Making friends on the beach when we see the young man clutching a lighter in his fist and instanty the atmosphere changed. Everyone got tense, you know, like we all get that feeling that something bad is going to happen.

I usually try not to encourage this behavior. Stupid, but if a brawl starts it is hard not to watch. It's one of those extreme events that makes you ashamed to be so captivated. And when one of our girlfriends turns to me and says, "you should get the camera" I immeaditely realize that something's going to go down.

I run back to my bag, whip out my camera and start snapping photo's. I can't get a good shot but then I notice that the fight is moving closer to me. It always happens so fast.  My crew is now involved just by proximity.

Suddenly the fight is really one sided and we realize it has to get broken up. I don't do anything because I'm holding a camera, but all my friends are tough guys, so they step in. The instigator is such a cheap ass, holding a lighter and chipping into the forehead of the other guy. I start seeing blood and hope that my buddies can handle themselves. I get one good photo of my homie Kent (top left, wearing the hat) as he tools the instigator of the fight.  In straight "Man Terms" it was the cheap ass instigator who definitely "won the fight"- the other guy will have some real nasty scars- but it real world terms the instigator is the biggest looser I have ever seen. I suspect he went to the beach that day looking to find a weak opponent.  The girls watching from a distance sheild their eyes. They start crying.

It's funny, the day was so sweet but it needed a event. I originally thought this trip to the beach would be filled with adrenaline from sex and sports, not fighting. Fighting was the last thing I thought would happen. And it wasn't even a good fight. It was a dude looking for someone to pick on.  He had no morals, he was just a coward.

But I relish the day as much as I rue it. We bonded from nothing more that being at the right place at the wrong time. And we got a few photo's from it. Too bad for the decent guy who got his face all cut up. He just wanted a sun-tan.

I called a chinese resturaunt today and asked the receptionist to recomend a dish. She said "I don't eat this food." I couldn't believe that she would not lie to me. I have a lot of respect for her. I guess no one has ever phoned a chinese food resturaunt and asked for a recomendation.

Or maybe she just hated her job. When you don't like what you do for work you reap every oppertunity to trash your employer. Doesn't it feel great when the situation arises and you get to stick it to the man. Once I even pulled off my uniform and yelled "I quit!" I was 14.

At that time, 14 years old and idealistic, I thought that there was a system. I thought that everyone had an agenda and that all the corporations of the world had a vested interest in corrupting me. Now I just realize that people have to work.

This is what it has come down to: lots of people have to work jobs that they have no interest in. It's sad in a way. It would be nice if everyone could do what they love but I suppose we would have no garbage men.

I believe tyler durden who said "you are not your job." It seems like such a simple truth and yet we all respond to the rules of status. I think we are just programmed that way. 

Fortunately some people are different. Some people have a truth about them that is not derived from job, status or even how they spend their time. And to me, it is this world view that produces style.

Style is like power: once you have it, it is yours. No one can ever take it away from you. Not your boss, or the gov't, or your girlfriend who dumped you. Style is a real currency and I swear to Bruno that soon people will get discounts at stores because of their style rating. "I have a dream."

                                            -Kyle MC

P.S. That leaves us with a mission. Develop the style rating and make very hard, penetrating inquests about the effect style can have on our lives. We will have to account for fluidity, self-comfort, charm, humor, alturism and who know's what else. This will take a lot of research.

I still want to find out more about style. If you have any thoughts, send me an e-mail.

I'm at this family reunion but thank god Jana was here too. She's not in my family. On the lake it's always good to have non-family girls in bikini's.

 I wasn't planning a photoshoot but these days all I need is a phone. Jana accepted to do a few pics. What a woman.

In a few hours Jana is off to Vancouver and I'm on my way back to Calgary. She's playing music and I'm making some summer cash. In a few weeks well be back on the lake for real photoshoot and some serious action. For now, just enjoy this pic. If you want to see the full family reunion camera phone photo gallery click here for stokeshow on Facebook.

I've been looking foreward to the hot summer fun since May. We would go to the beach after class even though it was freezing by 8 pm.  Sadly, I haven't been able to wakeboard or hang out with girls nearly enough this season. And it has also been strange that it is at a family reunion that I finally get to down to business. So I brought out some city friends, grabbed the wakeboard, and sat by the fire meeting dozens of strangers/relatives.

Recently, back in the city, I was talking to a level-one business man who used the motto: "It doesn't matter as long as it's banger." I liked the sound of it and I think he's right. How do YOU live banger? Tell me about your idea's so we can figure it out and spread the word to the world.

                       Paris Hilton posted this uncopywritten                                                                             photo of herself on her Twitter account   Click here

All I have to say is thank god we developed the internet. Without it, I would have had to scan this photo and print it out and that would be illegal. But now, with beautiful inventions like twitter, we can infiltrate even Paris Hilton's closet.

Due to recent events, STOKEshow is restructuring.

We are now accepting job applications for key creative positions. Applicants must like travel, maintain a liberal sexuality and think Clarence and Alabama Whorly from True Romance are admirable.  To submit CLICK HERE.

We have been opening the flood gates recently for collaboration of people and projects. But our worst fears have been realized. STOKEshow is outa control. 

TRUE STORY: Kyle MC was about to hit on four women. Before he could even say a word, they were hugging him and asking to do a nude photo shoot. Kyle did not know how to respond.

It was a huge dissapointment to the STOKEshow management but we realize that any error Kyle made is ultimately our failure. We are restructuring our platform to incorporate any and all ideas that the public may have (including nude shoots). Further, we are starting a training program for all of our in-feild agents. This re-building will be tedious but it will pay off in the long run. Stay tuned, have fun, and please continue to throw us your ideas.

As the summer rolls on, there are few things better than getting out on the water with friends. Whether it is a dingy, a air mattress or a sick boat, all you need is women, beer, and a few spare hours. 

So far we've filmed dudes going off on wakeboarding, girls oiling themselves up like John Stamos and random wackjobs raving about boat etiquette and how to get through your summer without running into the police. Watch for the updates.