STOKEshow

Stoked on a babe? If she's coming to your place you need to be conscious of how your apartment and/or room appears. Malcom Gladwell, author of the uber-popular modern psychology book, Blink, says that when people first get introduced, they get a far more accurate insight of personality when experiencing a persons living space than they would after hours of verbal communication. And since dating is like a weird and endless psychology test, you should recognize that your home tells a pretty good story about who you are. But remember, it's a sliding scale, if you just want a lay from a casual sex partner, then just clean up the used condoms, but, if you think you might love the lady, then maybe even invest in items that make you look really well-adjusted, like a plant or something.   

1) Bathroom. Ever finished washing your hands and there's no hand towel? It sucks. Clean it up and expect that she might peek into your medicine cabinet. If you have various creams and assorted hair products, then your weird, or gay, or both... which is totally cool.

2) Food. In terms of impressing a lady, it makes you look wholesome and pure to have some apples and veggies kicking around. She'll probably think you can cook too. So, if you are cheap and lazy, like most guys, I recommend food stuff that you don't have to eat but never looks rotten, AKA yams and garlic. You can just leave it in the fridge and you'll always be covered. (Of course, if you live with your parents then this is a moot point, because you always have a jam-packed fridge full of delicious food, in which case, screw you). 

3) Your bed. If your pillow is wack-stained yellow even the 40 yr old hippy bus driver will be turned off. Unless you live in a ski town, you should make your bed semi-orderly. And, If you think there's any chance you mighthave sex, I absolutely, positively, emphatically suggest you put condoms somewhere close by your bed. Nothing sucks more than being in the zone, mutually DTF, and you have to get up and go search through the medicine cabinet, your backpack in the kitchen, the closet, sofa, freezer... to find a condom. It can really kill the mood. The only thing worse is babies. 

CONCLUSION: So basically, just recognize that you are showing what kind of person you are through your living space. If you want to play her a song, then leave your guitar out. If you want to talk about your trip to Peru, put a photo album in a place where she'll notice it. And if you want to get her stoked on your bondage fetish, use the silk scarves at first (simple, right?).  

Anyway, hopefully that was helpful to some people. I'd love to hear comments and additions.

Sincerely, STOKEshow.

(Matt Braun Photo. STOKEgirls: Erika and Jen. Dude: The covert author of this article)

 

Meet Girls

Step 1) Hot ladies are busy. So dudes who want hot ladies have to pretend to be busy. Like "Hey, baby I got a quick second to talk to you then I have to roll out because there are, like, a million other ladies all after me. Then I have to go to work."

Step 2) Get Real. Girls are totally tired of lame-o pick up losers who read The Game and go out repeating one-liners. DON'T be a creeper. It's all in your attitude and your ability to say to yourself, "I am seeing if this woman is chillin' and a cool person and perhaps I could be friends with her. If I like her and we have things in common then maybe we should hang out." You have got to be relaxed like this.

Believe in yourself and communicate it to the girl(s). Whatever it is that you are good at, things you enjoy and stuff that's funny, talk about it personally. When strangers talk they often hesitate in revealing themselves unless there is a personal touch to the conversation. If you are out trying to meet girls, you have to take the initiative. A pretty California girl won't readily talk about anything personal unless it seems natural. So, if you are talking about something that you like, or a story about yourself, it sets up a premise that it's ok to talk about personal stuff. 

Step 3: Meet later.

You've met her, talked about personal stuff, hopefully you've both made fun of each other a little, and now you have to get into a situation where you're going to get down and party. Think of something fun to do, like a friends bbq, live music, comedy show, volleyball game, or even some BS. All that matters here is that you believe that anything you guys do together will be fun. If this is the case then it should be easy to sell her on it and get her number, or even get a kiss. Just push your comfort zone and you'll totally surprise yourself at how easy it is to start telling women to "step back and turn around so I can get a better look at your ass." Swear.

Step four: Seduction.

Many women assume (thanks to society) that guys just want to sleep with them. It is often why they say that men lie.  In the long run, what really sets a man apart in sexual relationships is his ability to be genuine. Therefore you should be honest when you're getting down with a woman for the first time.

Make sure sex isn't the only end goal. Relax, and feel comfortable talking, especially when your naked. Zen it out.

Step 5: *******

Hard. Good. Soft. Whatever. Mix it up. If your a dude who worries about his abilities in the sack then just put her on top. Let her enjoy herself and even if you don't last very long then at least it's her fault for riding you too hard. 

Anyway, get out there and have some fun. Adventures are everywhere. Rock on.

STOKEshow